by Katherine SantanaI am a Daughter: I am a daughter of two loving parents who have risked everything to give me the life that I have today. I spend the majority of my time repaying their kindness by furthering my education, cooking, cleaning and running errands to show appreciation for the things they have done for me.
I am a Sister: I am a sister who is overprotective of the youngest and lax with the oldest. Having three sisters and one brother, I share a deep respect for each and every one of them. I would do anything for their happiness. I am an Introvert: Silent and withdrawn, I enjoy spending time alone, formulating my thoughts and drowning in my imagination. Too many hours around people and I find myself exhausted, but I keep pushing forward. Many people tell me that being introverted is horrible, but I feel the opposite. I am Shy: Fearful and anxious, I find myself terrified of people and not knowing what to do. Meeting new people horrifies me, I become timid and nervous around the company of others. Sometimes, it will become so bad, that I would just nod and smile without saying a word. I am Awkward: I get embarrassed easily, have poor social skills and use aggression to express my affection. This also connects with my shyness, anyone who is not my immediate family or a close friend, may feel that there is something wrong with me. I am Driven: Despite my fears and worries, I push forward in life. Nothing will be done if I sit around hoping for something to happen. I take the things that scare me or cause me anxiety and use it as a way to conquer my fears and become the person that everyone has yet to see. I am Bold: I am not afraid to say what’s on my mind if deemed necessary. Many people tell me I’m terrible but I find it as a form of honesty. I love making statements with my makeup and clothes. I make silent statements. I am an Anime Fanatic: When I am not studying, working or doing chores, I am watching anime in my living room with a plate of food and headphones on. Anime for me is a time where I can relax, and enjoy my time. It is the time when I can escape for even just a moment from the world around me. I am In Love with Food: Maybe it is because of my culture, but the connection I have with food runs so deep that nobody will be able to break it. Food for me, is connecting with my culture, connecting with my friends and family as well as an escape. For me, food is a luxury and a time where I can relax. I cannot have food before showering or before getting my work done, or else the idea of food as a luxury has no meaning. I am Imperfect: There is nothing about me that is perfect. I am a walking ball of imperfections, I am full of flaws that transmits its own beauty. Imperfection is beauty! I am Easily Broken: While most of the times I am seen as someone with a strong personality and strong willed. I am very easily shattered. I constantly show up as someone strong and unemotional, so when a sad or enraging moment occurs, I snap in a second. I am a Human Being: Like everyone else, I have dreams and aspirations. I make mistakes, confront them and move forward. I have good days and bad days. I have memories that I try to suppress and future goals that keep me in a loop. I am trying to figure my life out like everyone else. I am Me… and that won’t change.
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by Ummer AliWhen I was 6, I met Sheikh Muhammad Sharif.
He helped me learn kindness. When I was 10, I wrote my first short story. That began my love for writing. When I was 12, I got my first in school suspension. I learned to watch what I say. When I was 13, I had my first heartbreak. It taught me that you can’t always have what you want. When I was 15, I wrote my first good short story. It showed me that I actually had the talent for writing. When I was 16, I had been to 7 funerals. Each one took a part of me with it. When I was 16, I met Mr. Kanakis. He showed me that you could be a good person, even if you’re surrounded by bad things. When I was 16, I watched my best friend kill himself. It broke me. When I was 17, I graduated high school. Fuck everyone who said I wouldn’t. When I was 20, I had my first real heartbreak. It showed me to never trust anyone with my secrets. When I was 21, I graduated college in 4 years. Fuck everyone who said I couldn’t. When I was 22, my dad became my best friend. Love you pops, I wouldn’t be where I am right now without you. And Now I’m 23. 3 heartbreaks, 9 suspensions, 4 graduations, 14 funerals, 1 loving family, 1 fractured mind, countless hours of self-doubt, and I have no idea what I am. All I know is that I am everything I’ve written in this piece and so much more. The only thing I know how to do is fight; fight for happiness, for love, for knowledge, for my family. So I guess I’m a fighter. by Amerra Bukhari"I had turned a monster into art." “GRAB HER BY THE P***Y!” is what you probably heard on the radio and watched on the television, spoken by our president, Donald Trump. He uttered those words in a trailer with an entertainment news reporter, Billy Bush. The recording of what he said was leaked during Trump is campaigning though few months later he was elected as our 45th president. Now my question is how could we vote for someone who holds such disrespect toward women? I question the women who voted for him, how could they bring themselves to the voting booth and color in the circle next to his name? Maybe they didn’t see that it was a big deal or they chose to ignore that he is promoting a rape culture. Emilie Buchwald, author of Transforming a Rape Culture described rape culture as “a complex set of beliefs that encourage male sexual aggression and supports violence against women… condones physical and emotional terrorism against women as the norm.” Rape culture stems from rape, where aggression and violence toward women and has become the standard. It is the society’s beliefs that also encourage the furthering of rape culture. Trump is an influential person, whatever he says and/or does is picked up by people, who think it is ok to say such things and later act on it. The recording of what Trump said in the trailer was played during a performance called Seeing Rape, held in the Gerald W. Lynch Theater at John Jay – College of Criminal Justice. The performance was broken down into ten plays written by 16 John Jay students and acted out by New York City actors. The plays were written as part of a course called Seeing Rape taught by Professors Shonna Trinch and Barbra Cassidy, where students studied how rape is viewed in society, law, politics, literature, poetry, war, religion and education. The plays were called: The Movement, A Modern Romance, The Girl, Cycles End, The Blind Reflection, An Ordinary Day, La familia de Papa, Unintended, Colorful Markers and Jubilee. The mini plays performed showed the ugly side of our society; how screwed up their mentality toward rape/sexual assault can be. Along with the fabulous performances, I want to point out the language used in the plays, which I observed was a bit too vulgar for the crowd. There was a lot of cursing and sexual innuendos made. For instance, in one of the plays called The Modern Romance, four girls were talking about their Tinder dates gone wrong and a topic of men on Tinder. One girl said “salty corn flakes”, after her friend said that men like to make anything sexual. Which was supposed to mean the “men’s fluid” being used in the cereal. I heard people sitting next to me gasp and laugh at the same time. Majority of the attendees were college students but there were aged people and young children. I heard a little girl in the theater and I was pretty shocked because why would someone bring their young children to a play that has such vulgar language and knew it was inappropriate event for children? What I am saying is, the parents knew about the topic of this performance and expected some sort of vulgarity, it would have been sensible to not bring a young child. I am not going to tell parents where to and not to bring their young children but if that little girl was a child of mine, she would not be sitting there. I personally did not find the language to be appalling because I hear it being used around me; was not fazed at all. Another example of vulgar language used was during the play Colorful Markers, where two male friends meet up and one of them describes the high school party he attended. In short, it was about a gang rape of a drunk girl; where several boys wrote, and drew all over her body using markers. For instance, they drew penises all over, wrote “slut, bitch, whore” and other “colorful” words. The part that got to me was when one of the boy started inserting the marker inside her vagina. Now for the older and young people sitting in the theater, it must have been very uncomfortable because a friend of mine told me that he saw someone walk out when the two men on stage started describing the rape of the vulnerable girl. Lastly, my point in bring up the language used in the plays was because there were people from different generations in attendance, maybe they are not used to hearing this sort of language in their home, people they associate with, work place, and most importantly they do not use this type of language. Aside from the vulgar language, I want to add a few comments. First of all, I want to applaud the actors and playwrights for their hard work. They took a sensitive issue and showed it to the audience through real life instances, it felt very real and personal to me. The idea of seeing and not seeing rape in our society is a big problem because some people do not fully know what counts as rape, maybe they know and choose to ignore and do what they want and some keep quiet about it they fear retaliation. I personally feel that media plays a big part in spreading rape and promoting a rape culture, they might show something in a humorous way but this is not something that should be joked about. Preventing rape is what everyone should talk about, for example this performance was a way of showing and telling and getting the message of knowing what rape is, to people of all ages. by Erick GarciaImagine you and your friends are talking about what you all plan to do with your lives after you all have graduated from college. You all start talking about what kinds of careers you all want to have. One friend may say he or she wants to be a doctor, the other a police officer, and so on. Then it’s your turn to say what you want your future career to be, and you say you want to be a writer. All of a sudden the conversation comes to a screeching halt and everyone is looking at you in a way that makes you feel as if you did something wrong. Then the first thing you hear from one of your friends is “You won’t make any money doing that!” Maybe this is something you’ve heard before or is a variation of something you’ve heard before, or maybe this is your first time hearing this from someone. The question you’re probably asking yourself now is “Is that true, and if it is, how does it affect me and do I care?” The scenario you just read is something that I feel happens to a lot of young people when talking about their future careers, and this is a situation that is usually imposed on them by parents and by friends. If you’ve ever had this same conversation, depending on your career choice, the kinds of comments you might get from other people will be that “There’s no future in that” or “You’ll never make any money in that” and so on. In my opinion, people should have the freedom to decide on a career that makes them happy, even if it means going against the expectations of friends and family and even of society as a whole. But I can also admit that it does feel ugly when even those who are closest to you don't want to support your decisions or have little to no faith that you can be successful in a field that they consider to be pedestrian. Although I think it’s kind of funny that the careers that they consider pedestrian, such as writing, acting, playing music, and so on are the very same careers that produce that which they find so entertaining and are more than willing to spend their money on! In my experience, I have been lucky enough to have parents who want me to do what makes me happy. However, the best advice I have gotten is that if I’m going to do something that makes me happy but that isn’t so financially secure, it’s always a good idea to have a backup plan. Personally speaking, my dream is to be a musician, but because I know that the landscape of music business has dramatically changed over time, I know that I’m not going to be the next Paul McCartney overnight anytime soon. This is where the backup plan comes in. I’m currently pursuing a master’s degree in forensic psychology in college. I picked this as a backup plan not only because I know that it could provide me with financial stability in the future, but also because it’s also something that I truly love and could actually see myself doing in the event that my first choice doesn’t work out. It’s something I’m truly interested in and it’s something that is just as big a part of my life as music. Now I’d like to offer this same advice that my parents gave me to anyone reading this article. If you’ve decided on a career that makes you happy but isn’t so financially secure, have a backup plan, but make sure it’s a backup plan that you’re happy with, not just a backup plan that you feel you’re obligated to have. While some people do have a backup plan, they might settle for something that is expected of them by family and friends or something that may provide financial stability but not satisfaction. This is why I stress that a backup career must be something that makes you happy and not simply your safety net. Another piece of advice I’d like to offer is just as important as the first, and that is to stand your ground. Even if your friends and family don’t support you, even if others mock you for your career choices, even if no one believes you can make it and be successful, stand your ground. Be fearless, dare to defy expectations, but most of all, be yourself and pursue what makes you happy. Granted this is much easier said than done. Dayna, a good friend of mine, was talking to me about being a writer because it’s one of the many things she truly loves doing, but at the same time she showed some hesitation. I told her to go for it since it’s what she really wants, and in response, she told me something along the lines of “Would you rather make money or would you rather be happy?” My question would’ve been, “would you rather dare take the risk and know for sure whether it was worth it or not? Or would you rather take the safest route and prefer to live your life thinking about what could have been?” It always boils down to choices and the fact that only you have the power to decide. In a similar conversation, my fellow Zine writer and classmate Connor Gilligan told me he wants to be an archaeologist, but that a lot of his friends would rag on him because he wouldn’t make much money. He would tell me that even if that was true, he didn’t care because he’d be happy doing what he wanted to do, which is more important to him. He even went so far as to give me examples of famous people who lived a rags-to-riches career, such as J.K. Rowling and Chris Pratt. In his opinion, if they could achieve their dreams, why not him? And I absolutely agree. Never be afraid to pursue your dreams, even if everyone and everything is trying to convince you otherwise. However, not everything in life is a guaranteed success, so be prepared to struggle and be prepared to fail every now and then. But most importantly of all, have a backup plan that makes you happy. Work hard, enjoy yourself, and if you succeed, tell everyone who doubted you “I told you so!” by Maksuder RahamanEvery day, every morning, as I exit the subway, there is one thing that I do. I am sure many New Yorkers can relate. What is it, you ask? Smoking cigarettes. Personally, my vice of choice is Marlboro Lights with a cup of regular coffee—my day is incomplete without my two friends and companions. As I walk to school, I think about and simply enjoy the pleasure derived from the taste of both coffee and tobacco, mixing and creating a new flavor that is unique to me. Some say addiction, but I say, it’s my prerogative. Most of my friends are smokers too. We smoke on a regular basis, and it seems there is no shortage of cigarettes, because if I don't have a cigarette, then my friend has one, if my friend doesn't have one, then there always someone else who has. Therefore we don't need to worry about it. But it wasn't always like that, because a few of my friends whom I have known for quite a few years weren't smokers when I met them for the first time. It was just a few of us, smoking, for quite some time. One of my closest friends didn't smoke 3 years ago, but that all changed once he met our friendship circle. He started to smoke with us, once or twice a day. Then he kind of started to like it, and then it became habit. Now he smokes even more cigarettes than we do, and he is really addicted to it. There is another friend who also didn't smoke a year ago. But last summer he started to smoke. It was not because he had to or anything. For him it started out as fun, because since most of his friends are smokers and it was summertime and we hung out late at night. It influenced him, and he was curious about what smoking feels like. In the beginning it started out as fun, and he smoked once a day. Now I see it's not just for fun with him. He has gotten used to it. Sometimes we make fun of him and remind him that he always used to say that he would never get used to smoking. He still claims that he is a not regular smoker, because he doesn't buy a pack of cigarettes. But I know that's not true. Even though he doesn't buy cigarettes, with large numbers of friends he doesn't need to buy the cigarettes to become a chain smoker. He always can borrow one or two cigarettes from us whenever he needs it. And end of the day, if we count how many cigarettes he smokes from here and there, it would mount up to more than me or other regular smoker friends. Most of the time we have bought our own packages of cigarettes, but for him it's kind of unlimited, because he can borrow from anyone whenever he wants to. He doesn't realized that he is now a regular heavy smoker, but I know that he is addicted, because that's how I started, and since then I couldn’t stop. I m not much of a talker outside of my comfort zone. That's why most my friends are fellow Bangladeshi and neighbors. As much as I like to talk to people and become friendly with others, outside of my comfort zone it's really difficult for me to socialize. That's why most of the time I just stay quiet or just listen to other people. It’s same for the college, where I don't have many friends, nor do I know many people. But there are some people who I used to hang out with, and there are few people I hang out with after school or between classes. I can socialize easily with these people because we all have one thing in common: we all are smokers. This socialization starts with a borrowed cigarette or lighter. Then we start to ask each other’s names, and then before we know it we begin to talk regular basis, and become friends. I’m not saying that people need to smoke to make friends, but for me it helped, because I am sure otherwise I wouldn’t be able to make friends in college. I think smoking is a habit that is, most of the time, influenced by the friends or people with whom you socialized. It doesn't start suddenly, one day when you wake up and decide to smoke. It's more that you observe or follow the people you hang out with. Then the next thing you know, you have also start to smoke, because you want to do what they do, share an activity and a moment in time and a space. Later people get so used to smoking cigarettes that they become physically addicted to it. On the other hand I think smoking also a form of sociability, because in my personal experience I have found that smoking lets people start a conversation with anyone, anywhere. You may be wondering what is the difference between smoking solo in the morning as I walk to school versus smoking in the evening with my friends after class—this question, I am still pondering….but what I know for sure, as of now, that I have to have a cigarette between my walks to and from school and the subway. Am I addicted to cigarettes or the routine and habit of smoking—I don’t know. But I know that after every meal I have to have a cigarette whether it’s breakfast, lunch or dinner; otherwise it doesn’t feel right. I also know that it releases my tension and give me peace of mind for a while. We all know smoking cigarettes is bad for our health. The purpose of my writing is not to encourage people to smoke. It’s just my personal experience. Perhaps that’s the same experience many other smokers I know have. Otherwise it’s difficult to explain why people smoke. Since I am Muslim some people many question the morality of smoking in religious point of view. I don’t know whether smoking cigarettes is allowed or not. But some Muslim people in my South East region say it’s allowed and some people say it’s not, because there is a lot of Muslim people smoke. I didn’t try to find out which one is true, because I think I am not ready to quit smoking yet. by Joey ButtsI just got off work. I have a paper due tomorrow, but there are things I have to do before I start it. I have to clear my head, make some time for myself so I can focus on the paper when the deadline starts to become worrisome. I grab my board and push toward the infamous Lenox Ledges in Harlem. I coast down the hill, starting on 110th Street and Amsterdam Avenue. No headphones. The sound of my wheels and broken bearings on the street put me at ease. While to other bystanders, might sound like the noise of a deviant kid. I skate there for about an hour, mostly bailing on tricks that I think I can one day land, meeting up with all the local kids that have learned my name, and I theirs. We go to Marcus Garvey Park, to end the session. Then I push home, to start the rest of my night. The sense of community that skateboarding has brought, is actually remarkable. In cities like New York especially, it is great to be a part of. However there are ways that it is being ripped apart, and being exploited for things that it is, and things that it is not. Skateboarding goes through phases of being popular, and not so popular. Kids in grade school 15 years ago were not appreciated, and much ignored. But today, they seem to be on the rise. There is a new found sense of acceptance with the act. For better, but really for worse, skateboarding is now in the Olympics. It is now a culture that non-skateboarders want to be a part of. This alone is dividing the community that exists between us. The very-much-not-affiliated-with-skateboarding-magazine Vogue, recently dedicated a week to skateboarding and what they saw as its culture. With articles titled “An Ode to Great Skater Hair” and “Here’s How to Do Skater Style Like a Model”, they tried to discuss aspects of skateboarding. This was probably the worst thing to happen to skateboarding since the 2003 movie Grind. Skateboarding has become simply a style. People are not realizing the true essence that it brings. A magazine like Vogue puts the culture of skateboarding in the wrong hands. It takes brands that they say are relevant, and promotes them for use in all things other than skateboarding. It is the war of essence versus style in the world of skateboarding. It is not that skateboarders don’t want their world to expand. They want it to be as big and popular as possible, without harming what it really is. The bigger skateboarding becomes, the easier it will be to do. You’ll find more parks and skate-friendly plazas, so you can stop worrying about getting kicked out or receiving a court summons. With its exploitation, it is actually making skateboarding more accepted, in a way. Preserving the essence of skating is the main goal. A skateboarders fear is walking down the street and being called a poser by other skaters. So many people have “stolen" the style of skateboarding, that it causes anxiety in actually skateboarders. They don’t want their image being used for something it was not intended for. Skateboard clothing was made for skateboarders. It has a raw, abstract appeal in terms of appearance. It fits loose, (in most cases; but go to L.A. and you’ll see a bunch of guys ripping in skinny jeans) so they can push easily down the streets or parks of New York. The creator of the world famous skateboarding magazine entitled Thrasher, Jake Phelps recently saw photos of celebrities that have no connection with the mag and told a reporter that he really wishes they wouldn’t wear it. Like most companies and businesses, Thrasher offers apparel for people to feel affiliated with the brand of magazine. It is supposed to connect the culture of skateboarding and skateboarders all over. When these people wear the clothing, he said it makes Thrasher seem less than what it really is. He was quoted in an article on hypebeast.com saying that “We don’t send boxes [of Thrasher apparel] to Justin Bieber or Rihanna or those fucking clowns.” Boxes are what Jake Phelps might send to young kids, or even adults who demonstrate a passion for skateboarding. People like Phelps are advocates for protecting skateboard culture. Phelps is among countless other skateboarders who try to conserve the essence. The kind of people that Phelps doesn’t want to be wearing Thrasher hoodies are the ones who are riding longboards and hoverboards. I write about how people have gone on to steal the trends of skateboarding and take it for their own. But I don’t let that stop me from taking my board and pushing to any of my destinations. They might wear the clothes that skateboarders endorse, but they will never know the satisfaction that we get when we speed down a hill, when we tailslide a ledge, or when we just do the most basic kickflip on flat ground. It is the essence of the culture that we don’t want to lose, or change for that matter. To have your passion flooded by those who don’t appreciate it for what it is, is the fear. |
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