by Nelson HerasMost of us like to have everything in order and plan things out, especially our lives. We create a life schedule, organizing our lives, planning where we want to be in five years, ten years from now and so on. What happens when this life schedule that we’ve been planning so precisely fails? Do we self-destruct? Do we give up on life and give up on that dream we once had? “Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around” -Cameron Crowe Screenwriter, Film Director (Excerpt from the Film Vanilla Sky) All of us do things that perhaps we wish we did differently or go through events that negatively affect us, but we fail to realize that we have the power to change our lives around. As the quote says, every minute that goes by, we have the opportunity to better ourselves. When we are stuck in a difficult situation we shouldn’t let that discourage us, we must work around that obstacle and continue with our lives. I live my life by the mantra: things in life happen for a reason. My dream was to be an NYPD officer, to help communities feel safer and protect those in need. My love for criminal justice started when I least expected it and was the result of the biggest mistake of my life. My biggest mistake in life until this day came in high school. As a young kid, like many high schoolers, I viewed school as a place to hang out with friends. Despite this, I did well in my first three years. In my senior year things started to fall off. Thankfully the fooling around did not postpone my graduation, but my SAT were very poor. I failed to see how important this test was and how my college career depended on it. My low SAT score resulted in me being denied a place in a four-year college. As a result, I wound up taking a year off after high school, despite many people telling me to apply to a community college as backup. Questions constantly rushed through my mind; what now? Is college for me? What are my goals in life? Do I see myself in college? The opportunity to attend LaGuardia Community College fell into my hands and I decided to major in history. This was not because history interested me, but because it was a subject that I believed I could do well in without much effort. LaGuardia eventually opened a criminal justice major and that’s when my decision to switch majors occurred. Without realizing it, my life changed when I became aware that criminal justice was something I loved. The moral of this life experience is that from a mistake can come happiness and a mistake can open your eyes and guide you to the right path in life. What was once seen as a mistake, messing up in high school, turned out to be a hidden treasure. That mistake got me to this position in life and from that mistake I am getting closer to my goals. From this event in my life I learned that those counselors who wanted to help me in high school wanted the best for me and wanted to see me succeed in life. The whole purpose of being a criminal justice major and getting a bachelor’s degree under such major was to be part of the NYPD. That was my plan in life, my dream. Soon after completing the hefty application process I received a letter from the police department that said, “You are not psychologically fit to become an NYPD officer.” Déjà vu…once again, I was put in a life changing situation, that feeling of what now. Where is my life headed? I don't consider myself a religious person, however, I do pray to God. When I found out that I did not get into the NYPD asked him why. I needed closure. That closure came in the form of a dream. In my dream I was an officer, in plain clothes and I was hanging out with fellow officers, four of us to be exact. We got an emergency call. It was night time. We arrived at the location, it was dark and I noticed there was a train line above us. This place had a long hallway with rooms on each side, two on the left, two on the right and one in front. I opened the door and entered first. From one of those rooms someone came out and shot at me, numerous times. I couldn’t see the face of the person who shot me in my dream, all I felt was the impact of the bullets. This was one of the most realistic dreams I've ever had, so vivid that I woke up immediately and checked my body. I took this dream as an answer to why I had not been accepted into the NYPD. The answer came in the form of a DREAM. My dreams are not something I pay much mind to, but when it’s a dream like this, so vivid and realistic, it is difficult to ignore. The reason why this dream has so much meaning to me is because it came during a time when I was seeking answers. Answers to questions such as where my life was headed and why I could not become a police officer. Everything in life happens for a reason, there was a reason why I didn’t get into the NYPD. Some ask why not continue wanting to be in the NYPD and appeal the decision. My answer is that during this time I have learned and most importantly accepted that the NYPD was not meant for me and I’m positive there are better plans for my future. As a result, I have decided to go back to school and continue my education for a master’s degree in Forensic Psychology. As a forensic psychologist, I want to study why the individual committed the crime, rather than simply arrest troubled individuals, as police do. I want to learn more about the person who commits the crime: why they committed the crime and how I can help them and others who may be going through the same difficulties in life.
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