by Linda CheriyanAfter much contemplation, I have concluded that there is no easy way to say it. Before the summer started I was very hopeful of having a great time and getting to spend some of it with friends, because I rarely ever get to see anyone due to my busy schedule. One thing I definitely did not have on my schedule for this summer was the death of a friend. Death forces you into adulthood. Your thinking suddenly changes, especially when the death is unexpected. Anyone who knew Frederick Swope knows well that he was a charismatic young man who loved life so dearly. Here I want to pay tribute to the person he was. He is not the kind of person who can be summed up in just a few words. Freddy Swope deserves a whole story to explain who he was. I met Freddy over a year ago at an Association of Latino Professionals for America (ALPFA) event. He came up and told me that he was at his first school event ever since he started college. We talked about the organization, and I was struck by how passionate he was about a club he barely knew. He wanted ALPFA John Jay to get the recognition it deserved, and I immediately knew I wanted him on my team. That semester we had our election, he got voted in as secretary and I got elected to be president. We became the dream team, working tirelessly alongside each other to make the organization better, more visible, and to get a bigger audience. As the ultimate duo; I refused to do a single event without Freddy. Though he got accepted to Baruch for the following year- we promised we would stick to the pact we made when we first joined. We both dreamt of having an event where we would have hundred students joining our event one day before we graduate. He helped me pick a new team for ALPFA and promised to always help me with the organization we were building together. We said our goodbyes after the last event we held together, which was one of the hardest things, but promised to stay in touch.
We talked about starting a nonprofit organization that would change the entire world. Freddy had passion for many things, one of which included music, creating music in his apartment and sharing it with me for my opinion. He was so passionate, and we talked about incorporating music into our nonprofit organization where it will change everyone’s perspective on music. In addition to our plans to change the world at 2 am, we talked about almost anything and everything philosophical. We would ask each other, “What’s in a name?” or “how does the stock market work?” To this day I still don’t understand how the stock markets works (sorry Freddy, I have failed you there), but through the stock market, Freddy would try to make me understand his passion for economics as well. As friends we didn’t always agree on every single topic, and we certainly had our disagreements, but we made sure to look past our political views and always remain friends. Every once in awhile he would have an epiphany around 2 am and text me saying “Linda are you ready for some bitter TrYouth?” TrYouth was the name of his blog, which he constantly bribed me to write for. He would tell me, “Linda you are an amazing writer and you need to invest your time in writing for my blog where you will make a bigger impact on society.” Ironically, now I’m writing about him for the very blog he tried to lure me away from. At the beginning of summer, I made my usual summer list of restaurants and places I would want to visit to photograph. I briefly mentioned the idea to him and he said he wanted to venture out with me. I was delighted by the idea because I’m always looking for new adventure buddies. All summer we tried to hang out, whether it was before, between, or after work. For one reason or another, it was not possible to get together. Freddy got a new internship at Northwestern Mutual to sell insurance and I had just started a new internship at a financial institution. A week before his accident I felt a terrible feeling about our friendship in my gut, and I realized how neglectful I’d been as a friend. I immediately texted him and told him we NEEDED to hang out as soon as possible. Though he was at home visiting his family, he said we should make plans for as soon as he came back to New York. That Monday July 17th at 11 am, he texted me saying “we should hangout this week”. I looked at my calendar and responded, “Can’t, let’s do next week”. We agreed on Monday July 24th after work. On July 21st, I received a text from one of our mutual friends asking if I’d heard from Freddy, because she received a missed call from Freddy that same Monday. I smiled and thought he called probably to sell the insurance he has been trying to sell all summer. But then, I also realized in that moment I had not heard from Freddy either. I texted him that morning to see if we can hangout the very next day instead of that Monday, but I had failed to notice even the normal things in my life because I was so consumed with fast pace of things in my life. It escaped my notice that someone I texted on a daily basis had not texted me in the past four days. My friend told me Freddy was in a terrible car accident that left him in critical condition. I quickly searched his name up on Google and hoped this story she was telling me would be false, but sadly, I came to find out it was the opposite. The article provided a very graphic picture of his briefcase, his one shoe and a pile of blood. I remember the briefcase really well. He had received it for Christmas and was super excited about how professional it looked. It didn’t take much to excite Freddy; he found everything in life to be a gift and found philosophical meanings in everything. One time in October of last year at a volunteer event, I noticed some dried blood on his notebook, and he refused to wipe it off because he found it memorable since it was his first nosebleed. This is how he approached everything in life. He made sure everything was memorable for him and for those around him. He made the most out of everyday, so it is still unclear to me how someone who valued life so dearly can be taken away from it so soon? As soon as I could, I went to visit him at the hospital, and I felt desperate to see the pace at which he was recovering. When I saw him I couldn’t recognize him: I remember asking my friend a few times if that was really Freddy in the hospital room. The Freddy I knew had so much energy and was full of life. His dad gave me an update about his recovery. And though his injuries were very serious, I would not underestimate his recovery skills, because he had never underestimated my abilities in anything--whether it was my creative side or my presidential side. The next day, July 24th, I returned to the hospital to hangout with him as we had planned a week before. I went to the hospital with our mentor who has helped coach both of us in our career paths. But, as we walked to his room, we saw the room was dark, the curtains were drawn and his family was not to be found anywhere. Deep inside I still held onto hope that maybe he was just taken to surgery so he could get better. I asked the two nurses who were there, and they told me that he had passed away that afternoon. That moment seemed to last forever as we kept asking if it was really Freddy they were talking about. You can never be prepared for that moment. When I heard the news of Freddy’s death, I wanted to curl up and forget everything about the world. That entire next week I sent emails, text messages, read posts, and wrote comments on posts about his death. Normally the more you engage with something, the better you get at it. But no matter how many times I brought myself to talk about it, it still felt fresh and it scared me deeper. The crazy thing about death is that you sometimes lay around thinking of all the last things you would’ve said or would’ve done if you had known the person’s last days were approaching. You think of all the ways you could have shown them your appreciation, and you can’t help but begin to realize how much of their presence you took for granted. You begin to realize how much you appreciate your own life because in a matter of seconds life can be taken away. Freddy’s death has made me face so many life regrets. Freddy has always tried to teach me life lessons and still continues to do so, even after living. I learned that you are never too busy for your loved ones. Freddy, I hope you are able to forgive me for all the times I wasn’t able to hangout. You were a good friend and colleague, and I will truly miss you. I hope I have expressed enough of my love for Freddy, but I know no amount of words or pages will ever do him and his grand life justice. Freddy’s greatest goal aside from being successful in finance was to be known for his music one day. So I would like to conclude with a few lines from a song he wrote called Drones: We fly away when days are getting hard,
the pain I made it through, it left me scarred. Remember back when times were so bizarre, the scenic visuals that wasn’t far. Keep the faith and thankful to the stars, 24-karat magic, Bruno mars. Living life, don’t got no time to pause. Rest in Peace Freddy.
7 Comments
Samantha Sheets
10/7/2017 02:58:03 pm
Truly a beautiful piece. I am always here if you need anything. <3
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Robin Rude
10/17/2017 12:36:23 pm
That was absolutely beautiful. He is truly missed everyday by so many people.
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Fred swope
10/17/2017 02:54:52 pm
This was the most beautiful writing
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Terri
10/17/2017 05:35:43 pm
Beautiful. May God bless and keep him. My deepest condolences to his friends and family.
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Alice Blanton
10/18/2017 04:01:29 am
Wow ! What a beautiful tribute to such a special young man who has diffently touch the lives of many and more to come.
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Gregory Russo
10/18/2017 04:02:52 pm
What a beautiful tribute. I have not been given the honor of meeting this young man, but what I have read & heard he was a really special soul. I know his father, Fred SR. I am sorry for your loss, and I hope you keep the memory of Freddy alive by simply living your life with the energy & passion of your friend Freddy's life. Thank you for writing such a fine tribute.
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Elaine
10/18/2017 07:53:26 pm
Dear Linda, you are obviously a beautiful sensitive young woman inside as you are outside. Freddie must be smiling down on you and thanking you for your precious friendship and for your beautiful thoughts in his memory. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Your memories will keep them alive for many people. And I wish you a beautiful and bright future. I'm sorry you no longer have your dear friend to share it with. But you will succeed . Stay strong. 🌈🍀
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