by Veeana SinghYou’re in the mall and you walk into a store. You start looking around and moving clothes around the rack. Then suddenly, you see an old “friend.” You are fully aware that both of you just made eye contact for all of 1 second. Yet, you do one of two things: (1) you look past that person as is you didn’t really see them and just happened to be looking in their general direction or (2) you avert your eyes faster than you’ve ever done anything in your life. But why? The unspoken “Social Contract” amongst us is pretty straight-forward -- if you don’t make it an issue of our mutual dislike, I won’t make it an issue. Our society is at a point in which we can get away with almost anything. We can be rude, obnoxious and ignorant, all at the same time and still manage to function in society. The most that comes from it is that we mentally label and learn to deal with these rude, obnoxious, ignorant people. The “pretending not to see each other” scenario has become acceptable. Yes, of course both parties who pretended not to see one another take out their phones and rampantly text about it to other people. Yet, the principle doesn’t change. The principle is that we act in a manner that is so repulsively fake and we suffer no repercussions. This concept is especially true in the workplace. That employee that is so utterly annoying, somehow always has someone to talk to. But how can that be if everyone hates that person? We pretend and we laugh to the point where the annoying person believes their behavior is somewhat acceptable. The guy who doesn’t wash his hands and touches all the bagels might get a dirty look but no one will ever dare say “Hey, how about next time you wash those hands?” There are various aspects of everyday life that exhibit this same concept. Here is example of someone who was never told his behavior was unacceptable. My colleague/friend told me a story about meeting a man over the internet and accepting his invitation to travel to Idaho and go to a wedding with him. She gets to Idaho and sooner or later they’re driving down the streets together. At one point, he asks her about meeting his mom. My friend, let’s call her Amy, nods in agreement. The guy then takes out an urn and proceeds to tell her that in that urn are his mother’s ashes. She died years earlier. This guy walks around with his mother’s ashes! In his backpack! Like it’s no big deal! Amy, trapped in the car with this guy in the middle of Idaho, acts like it’s no big deal. This guy obviously has family, and friends – he was after all invited to a wedding. Yet none of them have ever pointed out to him that it was not okay to walk around with his mother’s ashes at the age of 30? I almost feel bad for this guy. His friends have probably labeled him in a negative manner because he carries the urn and exhibits other odd qualities. Yet, the“Social Contract” prevents them from pointing it out to him. In fact, IF someone were to point it out to him they would probably be considered rude and “out of line.” As a society, we are perfectly fine with pretending to like people and basically making fools out of the people who we don’t like. These people mosey through life thinking their behavior is fine all the while people they consider their friends relentlessly speak about them behind their backs. Is our “kindess” actually cruelty? Or just laziness? Another interesting concept of the “Social Contract” is the art of necessity. This principle refers to not liking someone and suddenly being in a position of needing them. This can be as simple as that person being the only person you know in a new class, or being somehow stuck with them in another similar situation. When someone you hate becomes literally the only viable option for you to speak -- you make it work. Thus, when you don’t know anyone else in your new class you swallow the hard feelings you have for the person you dislike and suddenly become best friends. We have all at some point been guilty of this and chances are the person who we pretended to like just because it was convenient, knows that we were only speaking to them out of necessity. Sad enough as that is, it is the reality of how we live in today’s society. Essentially, we will all be placed in a position in which we can choose to not be blatantly fake. However, why would we do that when society doesn’t expect us to? We are expected to sail through life pretending to like people, pretending to laugh at jokes, and pretending that everyone we associate with is actually our friend. No one truly knows what others think about us, yet we can get an idea based on how receptive or unreceptive they are to us. More so today than ever before, that opinion is flawed because people may appear receptive but not actually like you at all. This was my personal take on a particular aspect of how society tells us to interact with each other. The “Social Contract” is something I believe is a social code, and we all have it memorized. This code dictates how we act, and how we know when we are crossing the line, and is a guide to our behavior. This code is flawed, biased, and maybe a little sexist. Different people can get away with different things and according to the contract, that’s absolutely fine.
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